


Take Care of Him

by mggislife2789



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: M/M, Nightmares, PTSS, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prison
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-17
Updated: 2017-10-17
Packaged: 2019-01-18 17:53:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12393153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mggislife2789/pseuds/mggislife2789
Summary: Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters or their original stories. This is only for fun. It's where my brain goes after the credits roll. No copyright intended. Better safe than sorry. ;)





	Take Care of Him

After everything that had happened over the course of the past year, it had felt like too much for either himself or Spencer to keep their secret from the team, so they didn’t try.

While Penelope needled at him all the time about being the ‘newbie,’ she seemed happy for them, but her words were scarred into his brain, and right now he felt like he was failing.

“Newbie, I swear, after all he’s been through…my Boy Wonder deserves all the love in the world. He can’t take any more heartbreak. If you hurt him,” she said as her eyes bore into him, “if you hurt him, I promise you, I may not have a gun, but I will make your life miserable. Take care of him.”

And now he was here, watching Spencer toss and turn, a slick sheen of sweat covering his body as the monsters plagued his dreams. How was he supposed to take care of him? He was failing.

Luke had been inside prisons before, but he couldn’t imagine what it felt like for Spencer - to be caught in a 6 x 8 foot prison cell day in and day out for something he didn’t do. Spencer wasn’t weak, even in the physical sense Spencer had his strength about him, but he wasn’t a fighter, and every time he closed his eyes he’d had to wonder whether or not he was going to be woken up by clenched fists - he had to wonder whether or not they would open again. “Spencer,” Luke breathed. He couldn’t sit here and watch as Spencer fought off the demons by himself. But he was deep in a nightmare Luke couldn’t even begin to comprehend. “Spencer.” He whispered again, louder this time.” His boyfriend’s brow scrunched up, his lips moving quickly; he was talking to someone. “Spencer,” he said again, shaking him and finally pulling him out of his nightmare.

Spencer shot up and started screaming. “No! No! Get away!” Arms flailing, Spencer’s screams ripped through Luke.

“Spencer it’s okay! It’s okay! It’s me! It’s Luke.” 

His eyes darted around and fell upon Luke. Finally, he calmed down and leaned into Luke’s shoulder. “I’m sorry,” he breathed. “I’m sorry I woke you.”

“It’s okay,” Luke replied, softly as he rubbed circles into Spencer’s back. For a few moments, all he could think to do was touch him, run his fingers over Spencer’s body to let him know that there was someone right here who was in his corner - that wanted the best for him.”Do you wanna talk about it?”

“I need a minute,” Spencer replied. He hung his head in his hands for a moment before ringing them through his hair. 

Luke leaned in and rested his head against Spencer’s. “Let’s go get a cup of tea or something.” Spencer stared blankly up ahead as Luke left the bed and extended his hand, his anchor. When he saw the man he loved like this, broken and tortured, Luke couldn’t help but wonder if he was doing enough, but Spencer took his hand and followed him out to the kitchen and sat down while Luke prepared two cups of tea.

“It just keep repeating,” Spencer said just as the teapot went off. 

Luke swallowed hard and turned around, pouring the tea into a mug and preparing it just the way Spencer took it. “What kept repeating?”

He didn’t want to put too much pressure on Spencer, but he needed to know he was listening - that he was here to help him through. 

Spencer’s eyes traveled slowly up the length of the table until he met Luke’s gaze. “Everyone was visiting me. From the team, JJ, Penelope, Rossi, Emily, Tara, even you.” Luke hadn’t visited him though, purposely because he knew Spencer didn’t want him there; he was too afraid to let him in for fear of becoming a target in prison. “It would start out with me talking to whoever it was and then I’d blink and I’d be in my cell. The other prisoners were beating me. And Shaw was holding whomever I was talking to by the neck. Choking the life out of them. And I couldn’t do anything. Luke, I was helpless to do anything while all of my friends died in front of me. I-”

“Shhhhh,” Luke said, his eyes burning with tears as he stood up to wrap his arms around Spencer. “Everyone is okay. We’re all okay, and Shaw is in the same prison as the men he put away. You’re not there anymore. You’re with me, at home, in our kitchen, and I’m not going anywhere.”

Spencer’s lips quivered as he tried to reconcile his nightmares with his current reality. “When I close my eyes it feels so real,” he breathed. He pressed his lips against Luke’s scalp, again trying to ground himself into what was real. “That’s why I can’t sleep, because when I sleep I’m there again. I can control it when I’m awake.”

“I know,” he said. “It’s more difficult than anyone can possibly understand unless they’ve been through it themselves, but as time goes on…it’ll get easier, because you’re not alone.”

Spencer started to sob against Luke’s chest, his body rising and falling with the force of his cries. What could he do? What could he he do to make the man he loved feel better? Feel safe? 

Words failed him. For nearly 30 minutes, they sat in the middle of the kitchen, Luke cradling Spencer as he cried. “I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” Luke replied quickly. “I’m just sorry I can’t do more. I want to make it all go away, but-”

“But you can’t.”

That was his failing - at least that’s what it felt like. All he could do was sit by and let Spencer know he wasn’t alone in such a time of turmoil. It didn’t feel like enough. “Luke,” Spencer said. He was standing now. Luke had been getting lost in his own thoughts. “You being here is more than enough. After being alone day in and day out for three straight months, that’s all I need.”

Luke stood up and ran his hands up Spencer’s bare chest, coming to rest at the sides of his neck while his lips grazed his boyfriend’s. “I’m sorry I can’t do more. But I’m here.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too, Spencer.” After a few moments of swaying together in the kitchen, Luke led him back inside. Spencer had relaxed when they were outside, but the second he lowered himself down onto the bed a look of panic washed over him again. “Hey, listen. I’m here.”

Reaching around, Luke pulled Spencer to him and started twisting his long, messy locks between his fingers. “Just relax. I’m here.” Spencer’s rapid breathing finally steadied out while Luke’s fingers massaged his scalp. Although Luke was tired, he refused to fall asleep until Spencer’s light snoring emanated throughout the room. 

Just as Luke was going to let himself fall asleep, he saw Spencer’s brow furrow in fear again, so he continued his light touches. If this was all Luke could do, he was going to make sure that Spencer’s dreams remained bright and hopeful; it’s what he deserved. He couldn’t sleep knowing that the man he loved was in pain. Luke may not be privy to Spencer’s personal demons, and he may not be able to help him fight them off face-to-face, but if soft touches and sweet whispers would keep the specter of him in the back of Spencer’s mind, then even as he slept Spencer would know he didn’t have to fight the fight alone.


End file.
